Give Up the Screaming Habit
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Many parents feel that all they do is scream at their children. They feel their home would be happier if they could find another way to communicate.
These adults say they feel embarrassed to admit that they scream at home. They do not want to scream at their children, but find themselves screaming when children do not come when they are called, or when they’ve left a disaster area somewhere in the house. You can fill in the blank with what sets you off.
Parents can feel disrespected, taken for granted or ignored by their children. Under duress, we all find ourselves “losing it” at times. Maybe your parents were screamers too, and you revert to their behavior without thinking, when you feel especially upset. Sometimes adults are trying to let their children know that they are “fed up.” Unfortunately your children are probably not getting that message. They think you just had another bad day at work. If you frequently scream, your family may ignore you until the volume or intensity reaches a certain level, and then they will move.
Here are some steps that can help you give up the screaming habit.
- Resolve that you will not scream under any circumstances. Instead of screaming, you are going to lower your tone of voice when you speak.
- You are going to get closer to the child before speaking to them.
- Smile! Pat them on the arm or shoulder. The novelty will grab their attention.
- Make a direct appeal. Few people can resist when someone asks for their help. Even better, say how long it will take – make it short! “I need your help for 10 minutes.”
- When you are stressed before you walk in the door at home, it will be hard to stay calm in the face of the challenges of dealing with a busy household. Try going out to the back porch and taking some deep breaths, or sit in the car and listen to some music for a few minutes. Picture yourself dealing with your family as you aspire to do.
Remember: If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten!
Blogger Mary Ann Mulcahey, PhD, shares her expertise in assessment and diagnosis of learning disabilities and ADHD, and the social/emotional adjustment to those issues. If you have questions, please contact Mary Ann at .
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
