A recent blog post by Dr. Mary Ann Mulcahey highlighted the article an Australian colleague and I wrote on the topic of individuals with ADHD and the fibbing phenomenon.
In our article, and during an interview with Dr. Ned Hallowell, we discussed the effect fibbing can have on the relationship between parent and child.
Most often when a fib is uncovered, whether the perpetrator is a child, adolescent, teen, or adult, there is relationship fallout. No one wants to be lied to. There is often judgment, flared tempers, angry words, or threats that may or may not be followed through with.
As for the fibber, feelings of shame, guilt, remorse, and in some cases, depression emerge, none of which change the root cause of the fib or prevent the behavior from occurring again. So, how then are relationships repaired after repeated foundational blows?
As the parent or caregiver, stepping back from the incident and taking a look at the bigger picture is a valuable step in changing relationship outcomes. Think about how the following measures may be incorporated into your response to situations such as fibbing.
These steps outline the internal work a parent needs to do before addressing the issue with the child. In next week’s post, I’ll outline some ways parents can work with children to rebuild the relationship that has been damaged by fibbing.